So, the thought of learning 5 ways to compromise mindfully may seem a little disjointed. Let’s examine this. Compromise, that dirty C-word. Compromise is the “…act of settling a dispute by mutual concession…” according to Merriam Webster Dictionary. Whether we want to admit it or not, this leaves a bad taste in our mouths. Why? Because none of us likes to think we’re giving up ground we worked to gain when we concede, even if mutually. Besides, the brain just does that thing (defense mechanisms) when faced with situations that ask us to do something we just don’t like.
How we miss mindfully compromising
None of us relish a life with persistent compromise – it feels like a sacrifice followed by a disappointment followed by resentment. Compromise is often preceded by a belief that we have to do it when dealing with others. And this is partly true – in more than one way. First, too much compromise isn’t effective over time in relationships. That’s the reason books are written on boundaries and self-fulfillment. I invite you to consider another aspect to this belief – we mindlessly compromise every day. It happens every time we set a goal (lose weight, exercise more, stop arguing, take a risk and on and on) and allow ourselves to create reasons in our heads on why we’re not following through when the time comes. We settle with ourselves to change the importance, method, or timeline we set for that goal, often, without really allowing ourselves to mindfully consider that compromise.
The 5 Ways to Compromise Mindfully
- Identify what you’re willing to compromise on and what you need to hold fast to in your life. Be it personal goals, relationships, buying a new outfit, or putting off cleaning the house. Make sure it makes sense.
- Recognize when it’s more about being right than being happy. At times, this dictates who you really are in your relationships.
- Let go of the internal dialogue that holds you back from making needed changes. Just what is that story you’re telling yourself? Are you attached to a perception or outcome?
- Be open-minded to other ways to do things. After all, necessity is the mother of invention…
- Appreciate that there is more than one “right way” to do things and honor them when they appear.
Do you need assistance with learning to compromise mindfully? I invite you to Return to Center with me. Sign up for Mindfulness, Yoga, and Meditation with me here. Together, we’ll begin, expand, or refine your journey.
Love, Light, Prayers, and Peace!
Alyson Phelan, Certified Mindfulness, Yoga, and Meditation Teacher
Insightful. I am that person, it has to be right. If it is right then it is correct. No matter the cost, right rules. So maybe this compromise thing needs to be understood better. To let go, to want to be happy more then right, it sounds good and easy. But it is gonna take a lot of work.
Compromise with myself???? Compromise with my hubby? Compromise at work?
You don’t know till you try. So I will try, how about you?