Lucille Ball said, ““It wasn’t love at first sight. It took a full five minutes.” I think of this as a humorous nod to love and mindfulness. Often, we miss the power of mindfulness in our relationships. Ironically, we can’t love fully without being present in the moment. Louis Cozolino, professor of psychology at Pepperdine University, offers some wisdom. Consider, “Of all the experiences we need to survive and thrive, it is the experience of relating to others that is the most meaningful and important”. With Valentine’s Day almost here, we can focus on how we show up for our partners. Or, perhaps, mindfully nurture a new relationship if single.
The Value of Love and Mindfulness
Not surprisingly, studies show that being in a loving and nurturing relationship enhances our lives and well-being. Often, we are healthier physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually when we feel safe and accepted. And, our ability to connect with others results from our ability to be mindful of ourselves. Our mindfulness practice helps us to find joy with our experience of love and partner acceptance. Why? A simple reason, we tolerate others as they are more when we practice living in the moment with awareness. Check out this study – On the Association Between Mindfulness and Romantic Relationship Satisfaction: the Role of Partner Acceptance.
Tips to Increase Mindfulness in Relationships
First, try Metta Meditation. Also known as Loving Kindness Meditation, it is rooted in Buddhist tradition. It helps focus attention on unconditional positive regard towards everyone and everything. Here is a link to a beautiful guided Metta Meditation by The Mindful Movement.
Second, what do you have in common with your partner? Maybe values, priorities, hobbies, or even a favorite ice cream flavor. They’re there. When you want to connect with love, focus on them.
Third, try a mantra to help you practice mindfulness in your relationship. The simpler, the better. Maybe, use a phrase from your wedding, a vacation, or other important event in your life. “Be love”, “We are one”, or “Every positive thing for us” are examples.
Please share below any insights, discoveries, or comments on ways you practice Love and Mindfulness and how these tips worked for you.
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Love, Light, Prayers, and Peace!
Alyson Phelan, Certified Mindfulness, Yoga, and Meditation Teacher
