Have you ever had one of those days of opposites that create havoc and your life seems out of control? Perhaps your relationship is unfulfilling and you’re struggling to connect. Maybe, you start a diet and your will power is on vacation. Unexpectedly, the person driving you nuts at work is assigned to the your project and you fume over it. Frustratingly, you promise yourself to start exercising and procrastinate for a million little reasons.
The Inner Critic
We often become judgmental and negative about ourselves when these things happen. Then we hear our “inner critic”. The words of the inner critic cause distress just when we are struggling the most. Interestingly, the inner critic formed in childhood. It developed based on our perceptions of what others expected of us. Amazingly, it helped us survive in our environment. The inner critic is a part of our ego, albeit a negative one. While we may not want to believe this, if we reject this part of ourselves, we cannot be whole.
When it comes to opposites, yoga encourages us to cultivate Pratipaksha Bhavana. Pratipaksha means “opposite” and Bhavana means “emotion/ sentiment”. This is a mindful practice that focuses on the opposite of an emotion or thought to bring about balance. Of note, the Yoga sutras state “When disturbed by negative thoughts, cultivate the opposite mental attitude.” Check out this article for more information on Pratipaksha Bhavana. So, how do we cultivate opposite mental attitudes when we’re deep in negativity?
Opposites and “a new reality”
A very practical way to cultivate opposite mental attitudes is to practice awareness of when the inner critic speaks to us. First, write the statements down. Create statements that are based on “you” to encourage a measure of detachment. Next, recognize this criticism is a protective measure. Simply breathe deeply and decide to let the thoughts and words go. Then, bring to mind the opposite of the criticism to begin to change your perceptions in the moment.
- “You’re not worthy of being in a relationship” becomes “I matter in my relationships”.
- “You’re never going to lose weight” becomes “I’m willing to work towards my goal weight”.
- “You’re going to fail” becomes “I’m willing to learn as I go”.
Consider the following quote and journal your reflections:
“If we can stay with the tension of opposites long enough —sustain it, be true to it—we can sometimes become vessels within which the divine opposites come together and give birth to a new reality.”
― Marie-Louise von Franz
Please share below any insights, discoveries, or comments on ways you approach the practice of Pratipaksha Bhavana and how these suggestions work for you.
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Love, Light, Prayers, and Peace!
Alyson Phelan, Certified Mindfulness, Yoga, and Meditation Teacher
